The Walk From Hell!

 

I'm calling "it" the walk from hell! While I've been breathing in clean, crisp refreshing air...my dogs have apparently been breathing in a stimulant. Jazz (black) came out the door like a race horse out of a starting gate. Daizee (white) didn't have the full effect...yet. Then, Jazz spots Jerry C. and she began jumping around like a fish on a line. Daizee pulled exactly like a sled dog...what more could I ask for? You see, they knew Jerry had bones for them. While they were totally out of control, he gave them the bones. (Thankfully all of his fingers were still intact when the gift was received.) Jazzmin was at the "high" of "this" and pulling. Daizee, on the other hand, wasn't and was putting on the brakes. Jazzmin was pulling me, I was pulling Daizee, who sat down to express what little interest she had in walking. I leaned over,"Daizee, honey" (I'm now talking through gritted teeth trying to "be" in the patience of these words), "we are going the full distance". She sat there...then whatever "it" was hit her and she was off. Now we are at a good pace for our walk and joy was starting to kick in. Then, out of nowhere...they stop, sniff, walk, semi-run, stop, sniff, walk, semi-run. I felt like I was being driven by someone who was learning how to use the clutch. Our pace turned into jerks, tugs, run...ack! Jazz starts lifting her leg and marking everything and eating anything she can get her teeth on. Twice I had to stop and take cardboard out of her mouth. Usually, they settle in, but not this time. When we turned around it was more of the same. It all came to a head when they had me stretched out in opposite directions. I stopped in my tracks and pulled them in...that's when it happened. A grrrr...from me! (I felt like one of the guys at the gym when lifting a weight that really challenges them and they use the "sound" as strength.) You see, up to this point I was the only one not having a good time. The strength I needed came from that primal voice...a warning to them and patience to me. It did get their attention. After the blah,blah,blah talk, I made the leads shorter and we walked quietly, comfortably and joyfully down the center of the road.

It's interesting that all of this stopped when I decided to take control. And...it was always up to me to when and how I did it. What are you letting control you? Is it time for you to make a decision?

Make it a great one!

 

 

FEAR

 

FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL. Fear can distort...what you see or feel while afraid is quite possibly a twisted truth. The story I'm going to tell you has to do with fear and my actions and assessments based on my perceptions at the time I was experiencing this dreadful lesson. 

 

In 1997, I bought an old field stone house. It was lake front and had a beautiful stone wall that the waves would break upon. It was everything I wanted...it had been vacant for five years and some of the locals, squirrels and mice in particular, had moved in and were living quite comfortably. The few friends I had shown the house to before actually buying it all asked the same question, "Are you sure you want to buy THIS house?" In my heart, I had already moved in and no one was going to talk me out of it.

 

I moved in with two Maine Coon cats, Nettie and Hattie, and there were many active nights of hunting, but eventually things settled down and it was me and the "girls". One morning I got up and noticed that the "girls" were not in bed with me...so I called out, "Hattie, Nettie, hey girly girls"...nothing. I went down the stairs; came around the corner and there they were under the dining room table staring at something. Now...anyone who really knows me knows that I always have stacks of books on the floor, on the table and on the counters. I couldn't see what was of such great interest. As I walked towards them, I asked, "Whatcha looking at?"

 

Whoa!!!! I must have jumped back ten feet. It was a snake! I'm scared of snakes! FEAR GRIPPED EVERY MUSCLE IN MY BODY AND MY BRAIN WENT NUMB.

There were three things at that moment that I absolutely know for sure:

1. It was about three feet long.

2. It was poisonous.

3. I had to do something...NOW!

 

The first thing I did was open the door to the deck that was lakefront. Then, I ran into the kitchen. I got kitchen tongs...it was the only think I could think of to use so I wouldn't have to touch the snake. Now...I only had one chance! Using the tongs, I got hold of the snake right behind it's head. AWWWWW! It was twisting and whipping it's body all over the place as I ran for the door. I brought the tongs back and flung the snake out into the lake. Every inch of my body was shaking. (DEEP BREATH.) IT WAS OVER!!

 

I walked over to the couch and plopped down...put my head in my hands and cried...but these were tears of courage and joy! I had faced my fear and was able to do what was necessary - get the snake out of the house. After a while the tears stopped. I sat back with my head resting on the back cushion looking up at the ceiling and thought, "What just happened here?" The reality of the situation (now that it was over) was...most of what I saw was distorted. It was a snake...that was true for sure. It wasn't three feet long, it was probably twelve inches; never the less...still frightening. It wasn't poisonous, it probably didn't want to be in the lake where I threw it. The only part that wasn't distorted was the fragment that I had to do something now. As I was sitting there assessing...another fear thought gripped my mind...at about twelve inches, it could be quite possible that it was a baby...sometime snakes have lots of babies. I could feel the fear starting to build within me. I'll call my friend, Jan, she has snakes for pets. I dialed, she answered..."Jan", I explained what happened..."What are the chances of more snakes being in my house?" "Well, some snakes have hundreds of live babies" she said casually. "I'd check the basement first. There's probably a crack in the stone foundation". There was a long moment of silence. "Jan, would you come over and check out the basement...please?" So, Jan came over and checked out the basement for me. After what seemed to be forever, she came upstairs and declared the basement free of snakes.

 

My whole perception was very compromised during my assessment and action of the snake drama. Because my total self was gripped with fear...most everything associated with my decision making process was definitely twisted.

 

I've taken a couple of "nuggets" from my experience...when fear (false evidence appearing real) grips you:

1. Take a deep breath.

2. Take another deep breath.

3. When you can't find your cats...they have probably cornered a snake.

and....

4. A quote from Pat Paulson that helps to put everything into perspective: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...and quite possibly the bogeyman".

 

So...where's the "snake" in your life?"

And...what are you going to do to face "it" and throw "it" into the lake?

 

Make it a great one!

 



While sitting and looking out over the lake, I noticed families on the beach were standing and pointing to the sky. There was "eagle" in all of his glory! He was soaring high in the currents. What I particularly love is when eagle shows up most everyone stops, stands and looks. There is something about this majestic bird that captures us. Perhaps it's the symbol of freedom that he represents or his innate ability to effortlessly soar beyond our imaginations. What ever "it" is (and "it" is different for each of us)...he is truly mesmerizing and definitely a gift.

 

"And the day came when the risk to remain

tight in a bud was more painful than the risk

it took to blossom."             -Anais Nin

I call this Mom's cactus. I inherited it when she passed to a more peaceful place. The quote is one of my favorite's. Using the flowers and the quote together reminds me that I don't recall my Mom ever setting limits or saying that it can't be done. Whether or not she actually said the words doesn't matter. It was her silence, acceptance and mindful "watch" that gave me strength and encouraged me to take risks to become more of my authentic, unique self. I celebrate my Mom...all that she was in life and all that she continues to be...

I am a fan person...I love having my doors and windows open to all that surrounds me. That connection continually fills my spirit. It's part of the awe and joy in my day. Yesterday was hotter and more humid than I ever remember. (The air was already oppressive before I put my feet on the floor.) Our walk (me and the "girls") - well...it was more like sniffing around a broader area. I walked the "girls" to the boat ramp and down to the water's edge. They got their feet wet but the smells from the rocky area called them and that's where they explored. We headed back to the house finding relief under the fans. Another storm blew through quickly...this time we lost power. Once it rolled passed and the rain stopped, I opened the sliders and the cool air exploded into the room.  This is exactly what we were hoping for...I sat on the bench, both "girls" laying on the floor in front of the door being entertained by the fireworks that are now lighting the sky. Our day ended in gratitude. Make it a great one! 

Before the storm


I took this photo watching this storm "build" while knowing that it was only a matter of time before it was going to be pounding at my door. There is spectacular beauty in all that nature does. She does it with light, color, sound, movement, temperature, moisture, darkness and suspense. The clouds and sun are what beckoned me...a brilliant light bursting through dark clouds. It gives me a feeling of hope.

My day started with a gift...eagle flying low over the surface of the lake - well below the tree tops. Ducks swimming around the lake's edge. Little birds twittering in the maples. Fog rising from the lake's silver surface. Morning awakens with much of the sameness of the previous day...yet, each day's awakening is different. The difference appears when you look beyond the sameness and in to the true happenings of it's parts. Each part uniquely present in this day. What you see depends on how open you are to seeing it. In this moment of unfoldment, the landscape is an invitation in which to calm one's spirit. Make it a great one!

Day is done!

Most of my paddling is done in the evening. The colors in the early evening are so much softer than mid day. The sun had already settled below the mountains painting the sky with soft orange, yellow and blue. The lake became stripes of silver and blue and the crescent moon hung over the mountains creating a peacefulness in the landscape. Even after I took the photo, I continued to sit there, floating on the water and witnessing. My thoughts were of solitude, peace, connectedness and gratefulness in all that is held in my heart and in the hearts of others..Knowing everything and knowing nothing.

On the Pond

Hazy blue mountains, patches of fog rising like smoke from a chimney, boats moving silently across the lake. A few maple leaves appear dancing in the warm summer's breeze. Crows, sparrows, jays chime in a cacophonous symphony of morning's awakening. Then...silence...there's something! After a few moments, it all starts again...the embracing resonance of day break. Starting the day in gratitude! Make it a great one!